A Rite of Passage

Peter Gardell

13 years ago

Ahh, summer time. The weather is great, the kids are off from school, things are good. I was working in the office when my cell phone rang and it was my oldest son Andrew, "How you doing?" I asked. His response was, "You need to talk to someone."

That someone was an EMS person who said that there was a little accident and Andrew was fine, but due to his age they needed someone to come and release him. As I was on the phone, my father-in-law happened to drive by, saw what was happening and stopped. Andrew was released to him and I told him I would pick him up later.

So Andrew had his first accident: traumatic for him, traumatic for his parents, but luckily no one was injured. A momentary lapse in judgment for this 17-year-old. He took mom's car out...Mom's 3-week-old car...with only 1,100 miles on it...while she was out of town...and planted it into the back of a utility truck. Ouch.

In the back of my mind, I immediately saw how this incident could morph from Andrew being a poor driver to Dad being a bad father. I was not looking forward to that phone call or to when my wife came home later in the week. I cancelled my day's plans so I could get all the loose ends tied up so that when I called Maria I could tell her everything was fine, no one was hurt, and there was no need to come home early.

During the dreaded call, Maria asked all the questions expected and I guess she heard the answers she was looking for. Then she asked if Andrew felt bad. I responded in a way a father should, "I hope he feels bad. He just totaled the damn car!"

Seriously, this whole incident was a sensitive situation. I couldn't overreact without the risk of having Andrew and my other kids not feel comfortable calling when a time came that they really needed to - an accident, out at a party, or any situation that can arise in a teenager's life. I sat them down and made it clear that they can call whenever they need, at whatever time. No if, ands or buts; no questions, comments or interrogation.

So this episode was not only a minor hiccup in the road for Andrew, it was a learning experience for Dad.